You feel it - that unsettled and angry feeling — the WTF 🤬 and anyone who says one wrong thing right now in conversation, text, email is your next target 🎯 to go off and vent
Your amygdala is fired up and ready to unleash - your sympathetic nervous system is activated and on fire 🔥 and you are thinking about choosing the fight response.
Choice .....
If you want to choose a different direction and get back to calm you can take some deep breaths - look around, name three things you can see, two things you can hear, one thing you can feel —- a few more deep breaths with a slow exhale, you can calm yourself and get your parasympathetic system back online to rest and digest and grounded in the present (it is a true gift).
When you finally get yourself to calm and if and when you pause (paws 🐾😌🐾) to reflect, that is when it hits you —— the person you are really mad at is YOU! Isn’t it the worst??? Have you ever had that, noticed that, observed that?
Often, who we are mad at is ourselves! Why did I do it that way, why did I say that, how could have I been so wrong, why did I let them rope me in again—- the list goes on and on.
When we are mad at someone else — it is “their” fault, when we are mad at ourselves, it is “our fault”.
Now, let’s stop 🛑 and flip this thing around.
Actually, when we are mad at someone else that is disempowering — we have no control over what someone does or says or doesn’t do or say. ZERO control aka disempowered!
When we are mad at ourselves — good news 🗞️ We can control that!
We can reflect, consider why we are mad at ourselves - we can give ourselves compassion and grace and choose kindness and acceptance. We can learn from our thoughts, behaviors, beliefs and actions. We can choose to shift them. We can be empowered!!!
And then the real shift comes when and if we are mad at someone else - we can choose those same reactions with someone else - we can choose compassion, kindness, empathy for those who we are mad at — empowered !!!
Buddha says that “ anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die” —- consider ditching the poison ☠️ and grabbing some peace ☮️ and harmony 🎶
Consider choosing connection with yourself:
Compassion
Supporting
Forgiveness
Kindness
Love ❤️
With love ❤️ and light 💡
Small Steps Big Things
If you are interested in some more info or a custom curated coaching session, please reach out at
Smallstepsbigthings.com or email us at info@smallstepsbigthings.com
