Anger - Friend or Foe? Disempowered to Empowered

 You feel it - that unsettled and angry feeling — the WTF 🤬 and anyone who says one wrong thing right now in conversation, text, email is your next target 🎯 to go off and vent

Your amygdala is fired up and ready to unleash - your sympathetic nervous system is activated and on fire 🔥 and you are thinking about choosing the fight response. 

Choice .....

If you want to choose a different direction and get back to calm you can take some deep breaths - look around, name three things you can see, two things you can hear, one thing you can feel —- a few more deep breaths with a slow exhale, you can calm yourself and get your parasympathetic system back online to rest and digest and grounded in the present (it is a true gift).

When you finally get yourself to calm and if and when you pause (paws 🐾😌🐾) to reflect, that is when it hits you —— the person you are really mad at is YOU! Isn’t it the worst??? Have you ever had that, noticed that, observed that?

Often, who we are mad at is ourselves! Why did I do it that way, why did I say that, how could have I been so wrong, why did I let them rope me in again—- the list goes on and on. 

When we are mad at someone else — it is “their” fault, when we are mad at ourselves, it is “our fault”.

Now, let’s stop 🛑 and flip this thing around.

Actually, when we are mad at someone else that is disempowering — we have no control over what someone does or says or doesn’t do or say. ZERO control aka disempowered!

When we are mad at ourselves — good news 🗞️ We can control that! 

We can reflect, consider why we are mad at ourselves - we can give ourselves compassion and grace and choose kindness and acceptance. We can learn from our thoughts, behaviors, beliefs and actions. We can choose to shift them. We can be empowered!!!

And then the real shift comes when and if we are mad at someone else - we can choose those same reactions with someone else - we can choose compassion, kindness, empathy for those who we are mad at — empowered !!!

Buddha says that “ anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die” —- consider ditching the poison ☠️ and grabbing some peace ☮️ and harmony 🎶

Consider choosing connection with yourself: 

Compassion

Supporting 

Forgiveness 

Kindness 

Love ❤️ 

With love ❤️ and light 💡 

Small Steps Big Things 

If you are interested in some more info or a custom curated coaching session, please reach out at 

Smallstepsbigthings.com or email us at info@smallstepsbigthings.com 

Let it Out 🗣

It has to go somewhere 

You can stuff your emotions down to the very bottom of your soul

However somewhere, somehow and usually when you are least expecting it, they will show themselves and not always in the best way 😕

I have been a master at stuffing my emotions, thoughts, feelings, you name it

All in the name of keeping the peace ☮️

How much peace is there really? How much peace do you actually feel?

I am certainly not suggesting letting it go, or out on someone with no filter.... 

I am suggesting finding ways to vent, release, explore and be heard in a way that will bridge, not tear down 🌁

If you don’t honor yourself you are doing a huge disservice to you and everyone around you 

Take time for yourself, be compassionate to yourself

Release write, draw, paint, run, create……..do something that allows you to express yourself 

When you can, if you choose to

Find a way to have a kind, compassionate, open conversation to bridge the gap, be heard, be seen and understood  👀🙉👀

If you do not see yourself, hear yourself or understand yourself first, it is going to be very hard for anyone else to.

Connect to your inner child and ask what they want, what they need (a hug? to be told they are loved? stand up for them?)

Let your emotions and feelings out and let them flow in a productive and positive way 

Be seen, be heard, be understood 🗣

👁 👀 U

Thoughts 💭❓

Doggslife.com

Smallstepsbigthings.com 

Who Are You Really Mad At❓

I have noticed lately that I am carrying around quite a bit of anger 😡

I of course, maybe like you, carry it inside.  

I don’t typically express my anger.  

It just sits below the surface, seething and looming and pops out in ways that don’t serve anyone.  

I try and repress it and or don’t even know it is there until I really sit and observe quietly.  

Usually my anger shows up in frustration, apathy, sadness or depression.  

When I am able to sit quietly without judgement for myself or others, I most often realize the person or thing I am angry at is MYSELF.

It is tough to be angry at yourself because the buck stops here :-0 

It is a self inflicted wound that could have been prevented (presumably)

I ultimately get angry at myself for allowing my boundaries that I so carefully have tried to construct (this of course took decades to do) 

get completely obliterated!

Saying yes to things I should say NO 🚫to 

Not speaking up or speaking out 🗣

Doing things for other peoples comfort or benefit and ignoring or minimizing the impact it will have on me or my loved ones 💕

Falling into old patterns

Falling out of new more healthy patterns😔

Failing to utilize all of the learning and lessons that have been taught to me the last couple of years 📚

The list goes on ✍️

Yes, angry at myself!!!

Now what ❓❓❓

Now, I need to forgive myself and find compassion for myself

Perhaps these are just continued layers of the journey of life 

to love myself just the way I am and know that there is always more to learn along the way and consistently work to get better

Be open, be curious, observe without judgment & with much compassion my thoughts, my patterns and my actions 

Acceptance and Forgiveness of myself, for myself so that I can show up in a better way for me and everyone around me 

That is my action step for today.

What is yours?  What are your thoughts 💭❓

Would love to read📖/hear👂 them 

Doggslife.com

Smallstepsbigthings.com