Who Are You Really Mad At❓

I have noticed lately that I am carrying around quite a bit of anger 😡

I of course, maybe like you, carry it inside.  

I don’t typically express my anger.  

It just sits below the surface, seething and looming and pops out in ways that don’t serve anyone.  

I try and repress it and or don’t even know it is there until I really sit and observe quietly.  

Usually my anger shows up in frustration, apathy, sadness or depression.  

When I am able to sit quietly without judgement for myself or others, I most often realize the person or thing I am angry at is MYSELF.

It is tough to be angry at yourself because the buck stops here :-0 

It is a self inflicted wound that could have been prevented (presumably)

I ultimately get angry at myself for allowing my boundaries that I so carefully have tried to construct (this of course took decades to do) 

get completely obliterated!

Saying yes to things I should say NO 🚫to 

Not speaking up or speaking out 🗣

Doing things for other peoples comfort or benefit and ignoring or minimizing the impact it will have on me or my loved ones 💕

Falling into old patterns

Falling out of new more healthy patterns😔

Failing to utilize all of the learning and lessons that have been taught to me the last couple of years 📚

The list goes on ✍️

Yes, angry at myself!!!

Now what ❓❓❓

Now, I need to forgive myself and find compassion for myself

Perhaps these are just continued layers of the journey of life 

to love myself just the way I am and know that there is always more to learn along the way and consistently work to get better

Be open, be curious, observe without judgment & with much compassion my thoughts, my patterns and my actions 

Acceptance and Forgiveness of myself, for myself so that I can show up in a better way for me and everyone around me 

That is my action step for today.

What is yours?  What are your thoughts 💭❓

Would love to read📖/hear👂 them 

Doggslife.com

Smallstepsbigthings.com 

Acceptance is a Gift 💝

Ahhhhh denial, it is a fun place to visit but not a great place to live.

Acceptance is certainly by no means an easy destination to travel to 🚙

First of all, there is usually not a clear roadmap 🧭 and defiantly no app with GPS that will easily guide us there, letting us know the best route, where the traffic is and perhaps where to stop and take breaks along the way…… I am sure that this app is in the works and maybe it is here and I do not know it. If it is, please let me know 😌

Acceptance is one of those road trips where you have to let go, sometimes meander, pay attention to the signs 🪧 and your surroundings and let the destination find you at the right time. It cannot be forced or pre planned.

It is a journey that will not be in a comfy first class airline seat ✈️ or high end luxury vehicle 🏎 and you cannot source it out to a Lyft or Uber to take you there. 

This journey is one that needs to be done step by step 🪜 one day or one minute at a time. You don’t get to pack, so you will need to muster up all the resilience, adaptability, and support you can along the way. It will be very uncomfortable, you often won’t recognize the beautiful spots along the way. At points this journey may be disheartening and darn right tortuous.

I do assure you though, once you arrive and you WILL ARRIVE, your SUFFERING will end and PEACE ☮️ will be restored. You will look back and see the journey in a whole new light 💡 It will be one of knowing, clarity and wisdom that will change your soul and your life forever. If I could tell you the who, what, why, where, when and the how I would as It crushes me to see people suffer………actually, I would not tell you. This journey is yours to be taken and in the end will be your gift 💝 …..your gift to yourself.I know, I know, you think I am being sadistic. The gift will be the metamorphic change that you will experience and your gift to others if you choose to share it. Share what you have learned and help those along the way find a little comfort knowing that they too can and will get to the other side and reach their destination .

Small steps 🐾 my friends, let people help along the way, use your resources, have faith in yourself, others and if you believe in a higher power have faith in your higher power. Be open and adaptable, have compassion for yourself and the situation/person and buckle up……..you will get to BIG THINGS.

I send you so much 💕 and 💡 

Would love to hear your stories of acceptance, thoughts or how you do acceptance :-). This is just my personal roadmap I thought I would share 

If looking for a quick pick me up check us out on Instagram @ Doggslife 

You Won!

You won!  Those two magic words.... or are they???

What if I was never at war with you?  Who really wins anyway and what is winning?

What if we both could win and be on the same team?

Winning is such an arbitrary and subjective word.

Wouldn’t it be better if we could all just take a step back, breathe and figure out what we are all looking for and find a way where we can meet in the middle and all get our needs met?

If we are being honest, aren’t we all just looking to be heard, understood and loved and valued for who we are?

The truth is, it is probably easier to have knee jerk reactions, stand by and defend our long held beliefs and convictions then to take the time to listen, absorb, educate, look at all points of view and then formulate a reaction, plan or stance.

Those things all take time, patience, an open mind and willingness to maybe even be and admit being wrong.........wait whaaattttttt???? Yup, I said it ....there is a possibility that you are wrong! 

Would you be surprised to know that when you are wrong you can actually be right? 

If you are willing to be wrong, you might just find there is a better way, a new idea, belief, thought process that is better than what you previously thought.

All that being said, a first step the next time you find yourself wanting to “win” a disagreement is:

Stop (imagine the person as their child self ...it is hard to be mad at a child)

Don’t React 

Listen

And see if there are more similarities than differences, or maybe what someone is saying actually makes sense. You may just find you are on the same side and fighting for the same things ...they are just wrapped in difference packages:)

I dare you :)

Take the first step, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised and that everyone ‘Wins”

XOXO

Things Will Happen - Control is an Illusion

No matter how hard you try and be the architect of your life, things will happen.  That is life....nothing new there.  As hopefully most of you are acutely aware, we cannot control everything ..... whatttttt?????

By the way Kudos to you if you have figured it out already ... it took me many decades on this planet to learn that.

Yup, hard as we try, we are not in the drivers seat of this wonderful journey we call life.  We cannot control others thoughts, emotions, choices, beliefs, ideas, etcetera...... we cannot even control many of the things that happen in our own life despite our many attempts at trying.

What we can control is how we respond, react and choose to show up.  Those things are under our control.

When life throws you a curve ball, you can resist, wonder why, wonder how and so on, generally that does not help the issue at hand.  Time and time again I have learned the sooner I give in re evaluate and readjust the sooner that gnawing, burning, frustrating feeling in my gut disappears and peace reappears. 

The older I get the more I value peace as my resting state.

I admit, some days are easier than others to give in ....... those are the days when my choices are more wise :-). PS. Giving in does not mean giving up by any stretch.  It means maybe it is time to stop fighting reality and find a better way and figure out what is truly important and how to best honor that.

As usual it is the small steps in shifting your mindset that will lead to bigger things :):):)

Maybe Good Enough is Enough

How many times do we put things off until we can get it right, do it right, not make a mistake....and so on and so on.  We torture ourselves over the minutia and the procrastination, the overwhelm that can just lead to apathy and then nothing happens :(

What if good enough is enough??? What if just taking one step towards doing one thing on that project your putting off or that task that needs to be done or that email you need to write??? 

What if you take one tiny step? If might not be the perfect step but it is the one that puts you in motion... it is the one that starts the process of kinetic energy. I am not sure why or how I remember that a body in motion stays in motion and a body at rest stays at rest....trust me I am no physicist ... I don’t even know if that is a principle of physics :-) If there was only a device I could quickly look that up on...oh yes there is and it is ...wow, I did learn something in school;):);)

What I do know is that once you start moving, it makes it much easier to continue to move and next thing you know you look back and accomplish something and it FEELS GREAT! 

Take this quick blog post today .... it started with one word, one concept and kept going until now.  It is not perfect but it is something.

So I ask you .... what is one step you could take?  You don’t know....if you did know, what would it be?

Take the step, I dare you .... then let us know what it was and we can celebrate together!!!!

Xoxo

Happy First Day of Spring

Letting Go

Sometimes, things, jobs, relationships just run their course.  We try and hold on to these things and really they are just holding us.  Why is it in life we are so scared to let go and terrified to let life's changes happen?
If one looks back in their life, most doors closed do open another more spectacular door.
The more we grip on the more we lose our grip.  The truth is, that sometimes it is just over or time to let go :(
As sad as that can be to come to terms with, it is often a true test to our character and a growth experience that most frequently can lead to the better.  One must walk through the sadness to emerge out the other side as a more beautiful and fulfilled soul and spirit.
I do not suggest that it will be easy by any stretch of the imagination! Depending on what one is letting go of, the harder it can be.  What I do know is, the more we fight it, the longer we stay in the sadness.
I have to remind myself to have faith, be open, be mindful, try and put things in perspective and learn what I can from the experience, when I can.

Be kind to yourselves and others. Take the Small Steps, so you can get to the Big Things :):);)

Tr

I am back :) Been remiss in uodating the Tri Status. Since finishing Santa Barbara Tri, I have completed three additonal since. Long Beach, Seal Beach and Race the Base (Reverse Tri - Very Fun)!

Each race has been an adventure, many learning lessons but most of all given me a sense of accomplishment.

The act of signing up for your next event keeps you motivated to train and push yourself.  I have just signed up to return to the crime scene, Santa Barbara, where it all began.

I look forward to updating you all on the event - gonna go for a ride right now :):):)

Keep taking Small Steps to achieve Big Things - share your small steps with us.

If you are looking for some fun workout wear visit us at doggslife.com

Road to First Mini Triathlon

5/25/13

When my sister asked if I wanted to do a mini tri in August I originally thought, thanks but no.

Then I gave it some consideration and thought what a great way to work some more muscles, tone, define and broaden my horizon. 
I already ran, I use to swim in high-school and seriously, how hard could riding a bike again be???

I downloaded a training schedule, bought a bike at Costco along with helmet.  I tested it out by riding around in my suit and heels in the store and scored the floor sample so I didn't have to do the necessary "assembly required".
Brought it home and said Yes to the mini tri!

Ummmmm, seriously underestimated the bike riding ease!  Riding a bike is not the childs play that I remember it to be. I curse the hill we live on :):):) PS. Is it normal for your lady parts to fall asleep while riding? 

About five minutes in (all uphill btw) I thought thank God I only spent $250 and Costco would take it back cause this blows!

Alas, I couldn't quit this soon into it and  I decided to trudge on and make it up the hill. 

I read a blog on line about tips for beginning cycling and was getting confused by what all the gears do and when to use them. One learns very quickly what all the gears do and don't do, what makes the bike faster, slower, harder and more efficient, why you don't wear floppy pants especially on the chain side and how to put the chain back on if it slips gears cause there is no way you are walking you and the bike home.

Day 1 conquered the hill! Once I became one with the bike and familiarized myself with how to properly ride it, all was good, not easy, but good. Did 22 Minutes, legs wobbly but overall had great time :)