I have noticed lately that I am carrying around quite a bit of anger ๐ก
I of course, maybe like you, carry it inside.
I don’t typically express my anger.
It just sits below the surface, seething and looming and pops out in ways that don’t serve anyone.
I try and repress it and or don’t even know it is there until I really sit and observe quietly.
Usually my anger shows up in frustration, apathy, sadness or depression.
When I am able to sit quietly without judgement for myself or others, I most often realize the person or thing I am angry at is MYSELF.
It is tough to be angry at yourself because the buck stops here :-0
It is a self inflicted wound that could have been prevented (presumably)
I ultimately get angry at myself for allowing my boundaries that I so carefully have tried to construct (this of course took decades to do)
get completely obliterated!
Saying yes to things I should say NO ๐ซto
Not speaking up or speaking out ๐ฃ
Doing things for other peoples comfort or benefit and ignoring or minimizing the impact it will have on me or my loved ones ๐
Falling into old patterns
Falling out of new more healthy patterns๐
Failing to utilize all of the learning and lessons that have been taught to me the last couple of years ๐
The list goes on ✍️
Yes, angry at myself!!!
Now what ❓❓❓
Now, I need to forgive myself and find compassion for myself
Perhaps these are just continued layers of the journey of life
to love myself just the way I am and know that there is always more to learn along the way and consistently work to get better
Be open, be curious, observe without judgment & with much compassion my thoughts, my patterns and my actions
Acceptance and Forgiveness of myself, for myself so that I can show up in a better way for me and everyone around me
That is my action step for today.
What is yours? What are your thoughts ๐ญ❓
Would love to read๐/hear๐ them
Doggslife.com
Smallstepsbigthings.com
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