Who Are You Really Mad At❓

I have noticed lately that I am carrying around quite a bit of anger 😡

I of course, maybe like you, carry it inside.  

I don’t typically express my anger.  

It just sits below the surface, seething and looming and pops out in ways that don’t serve anyone.  

I try and repress it and or don’t even know it is there until I really sit and observe quietly.  

Usually my anger shows up in frustration, apathy, sadness or depression.  

When I am able to sit quietly without judgement for myself or others, I most often realize the person or thing I am angry at is MYSELF.

It is tough to be angry at yourself because the buck stops here :-0 

It is a self inflicted wound that could have been prevented (presumably)

I ultimately get angry at myself for allowing my boundaries that I so carefully have tried to construct (this of course took decades to do) 

get completely obliterated!

Saying yes to things I should say NO 🚫to 

Not speaking up or speaking out 🗣

Doing things for other peoples comfort or benefit and ignoring or minimizing the impact it will have on me or my loved ones 💕

Falling into old patterns

Falling out of new more healthy patterns😔

Failing to utilize all of the learning and lessons that have been taught to me the last couple of years 📚

The list goes on ✍️

Yes, angry at myself!!!

Now what ❓❓❓

Now, I need to forgive myself and find compassion for myself

Perhaps these are just continued layers of the journey of life 

to love myself just the way I am and know that there is always more to learn along the way and consistently work to get better

Be open, be curious, observe without judgment & with much compassion my thoughts, my patterns and my actions 

Acceptance and Forgiveness of myself, for myself so that I can show up in a better way for me and everyone around me 

That is my action step for today.

What is yours?  What are your thoughts 💭❓

Would love to read📖/hear👂 them 

Doggslife.com

Smallstepsbigthings.com 

You Won!

You won!  Those two magic words.... or are they???

What if I was never at war with you?  Who really wins anyway and what is winning?

What if we both could win and be on the same team?

Winning is such an arbitrary and subjective word.

Wouldn’t it be better if we could all just take a step back, breathe and figure out what we are all looking for and find a way where we can meet in the middle and all get our needs met?

If we are being honest, aren’t we all just looking to be heard, understood and loved and valued for who we are?

The truth is, it is probably easier to have knee jerk reactions, stand by and defend our long held beliefs and convictions then to take the time to listen, absorb, educate, look at all points of view and then formulate a reaction, plan or stance.

Those things all take time, patience, an open mind and willingness to maybe even be and admit being wrong.........wait whaaattttttt???? Yup, I said it ....there is a possibility that you are wrong! 

Would you be surprised to know that when you are wrong you can actually be right? 

If you are willing to be wrong, you might just find there is a better way, a new idea, belief, thought process that is better than what you previously thought.

All that being said, a first step the next time you find yourself wanting to “win” a disagreement is:

Stop (imagine the person as their child self ...it is hard to be mad at a child)

Don’t React 

Listen

And see if there are more similarities than differences, or maybe what someone is saying actually makes sense. You may just find you are on the same side and fighting for the same things ...they are just wrapped in difference packages:)

I dare you :)

Take the first step, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised and that everyone ‘Wins”

XOXO