Does it Really Matter

More and More I try to ask myself this question?

Does it really matter????

This can apply to so may things in life especially when it seems like things are happening to me and not for me 

An argument

A difference in opinion

A change wanted or unwanted 

How much time do we want to invest in ruminating, agitating, arguing over something that in the long run, most likely does not even matter!!!

How many things really are that important to put our stake in the ground?

Our health, sanity, relationships with others/ourselves, etc at risk?

The truth is so many things (although it may not seem like it at the time) are happening for us not to us

If that is true, then now what???

Take some deep breaths, sit quietly and reflect 

Does this matter?

Is this really going to make a difference?

Is it true?

Maybe it is? Maybe it isn’t?

Consider seeing it from a different vantage point 

What is happening? What could this be teaching me? What lessons could I or others be learning? What (despite the level of pain, confusion or suffering that may be included) is the flip side of this?

I am certainly not saying that some situations are not horrible or even horrific, devastating or tragic. I am certainly not minimizing anyones feelings or suffering.

I am saying that many things we work ourselves up about are not (in the long run) worth the energy or effort that we give to it.

I am saying that even things that show up that are awful can have a deeper meaning when we are ready to see it, learn it or share it 

For the things that we have determined are not worth the energy and are more ego than substance;

Show up, step into it, take the reigns and be the victor and not the victim (no judgment, guilty of victim hood plenty of times)

For the things that are devastating, tragic, heartbreaking 

Take time, feel the feelings, be gentle with yourself and others, be compassionate  and be kind and let the grieving process happen in its natural way 

Be kind, be compassionate, be gentle, carry a forgiving heart with yourselves and others 

Take some steps back and assess what is really going on and how can I best show up in this situation 

With much love ❤️ and light 💡 

Thank you for visiting,

Small Steps, Big Things 

Let them Pass Through

Thoughts and feeling are often strange visitors that can seem to speak in a foreign tongue. 😛 

What I have learned over the years is that for me, to stay in a preferable emotional state I need to invite them in, acknowledge, thank them for visiting and then let them be on there merry way.

They are visitors who bring information to be observed and acknowledged — sometimes the information is such that I want to get curious about it and some of it might be true and some maybe not so true. Whatever the case, if I don’t greet it, observe it and thank, it will usually hide away in a dark closet somewhere and will keep coming back until I let it through (“You cannot ignore me Dan” as so eloquently put by Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction 🐇)

Our 🧠 brains, bodies  and nervous systems are quite amazing really. 

I have learned (the hard way I might add, which is how I often learn😊)

Is that it is important to get still and listen 👂 to this miraculous GPS system we each have within us. To honor it and be kind, compassionate and caring. To love it without judgement and respect the wonder and awe that is within each of us.

We all are such remarkable creatures and are learning, unlearning and growing along the way. Consider honoring and inviting all the thoughts and feelings into your house and let them share their information and pass through.

With love ❤️ and light 💡 

Thank you for reading,

Small Steps, Big Things 

Just “Be” 🐝🐝🐝

 Living in the Now — you hear it all the time. Like many things, it is often easier said than done.

That being said, it is one thing you can control and do right now to soothe your soul!!! 🫂

I know for me, I often need to soothe my soul.  We all have so much going on in life some things seemingly good, some seemingly not so good (these things are all relative and in the eye of the beholder)

We can let our minds run away with worrying about the things that have not happened and quite frankly may never happen or the things that have already happened of which we cannot change — both these scenarios are out of our control — unless you have magical powers and if that is the case please use them for good :-)

The point is, if we can learn and teach ourselves to rewire and to just “Be”.🐝

Be in the moment, Be ourselves, Be curious about what is going on right now, Be open to all the possibilities, the environment or people around us in this moment without judgement or attachment and just observation and curiosity — that is a magical power that has the ability to let our systems relax, rewire and regulate themselves right now.

This is just my thought of the day — take it or leave it (I know some circumstances and situations might be much more dire and horrific of which this certainly may not apply).

Many things — the day to day challenges that we can often make worse with our current mindset —time  travel back or forward — can be remediated by living in the present moment, giving our mind, body and soul respite by letting ourselves “Be” exactly who were are, as we are, with exactly what we need right in this moment.

With Much Light 💡 and Love 💕 

Small Steps Big Things 

It’s Not Personal

 Don’t you hate hearing that?  It is not personal? It is to me !!!

Truth be told, most of the time, it actually is not personal

Wait, wait, wait….hear me out

Most of the time people are just acting and reacting from their own programming, conditioning, agenda, projections, etc

It is usually not about you and all about them.  Their thoughts, their ideas, their perceptions, their misunderstandings or understandings 

Most of us are just trying to do the best we can with the tools we have at the time 

Some of us are more equipped than others and have more tools

We cannot control how other people think, react or act

The ONLY thing we can control is how we act, react and choose to think. (PERIOD)

Trying to change someone and their thoughts is futile (no judgment, been there and done that)

If someone chooses to change their thoughts, actions and reactions that can happen. Spending our time, emotions and energy trying to do that for someone is an exercise in futility 

Know this my sweet, wonderful and amazing soul: you are perfect just the way you are and always have the ability to get better, do better, think better, if that is your choice.  

Taking responsibility and ownership for your parts of any situation and improving how you may handle this or something next time is the best you can do 

We are all learning as we go. 

By staying open, curious and listen without judgment to ourselves and others, that my friend, is a step forward and helps depersonalize what often may feel personal 🙂

The Thing About Being Stuck

The truth is you often know what you should do however sometimes if you are at a point where you are stuck and overwhelmed even the best advice just seems like more of a pile on then help

All you really want to do is crawl in a hole or binge watch under the covers or both :-)

As they say, btw, I can’t wait to meet “they” some day :-)

“The only way out is Through”

One way through is to give yourself permission to do a bit of a recoil, allow yourself to feel and decompress and then, commit to one step 

One small step that represents some sort of action 

It can be as small as brushing your teeth, answering an email, preparing a meal, walking outside   —- something that produces some kinetic energy ( a body in motion tend to stay in motion)

Then build off of that 

Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would someone else 

Remember we often take two steps back to take one forward 

Stay curious and open without judgment, let go and let the journey flow 

Everything that needs to get done will get done in it’s time by taking one small step at a time 

Or ….get some goo be gone and put it under your feet 👣 😹👣 

With love much love 💕 and light 💡 

Let it Out 🗣

It has to go somewhere 

You can stuff your emotions down to the very bottom of your soul

However somewhere, somehow and usually when you are least expecting it, they will show themselves and not always in the best way 😕

I have been a master at stuffing my emotions, thoughts, feelings, you name it

All in the name of keeping the peace ☮️

How much peace is there really? How much peace do you actually feel?

I am certainly not suggesting letting it go, or out on someone with no filter.... 

I am suggesting finding ways to vent, release, explore and be heard in a way that will bridge, not tear down 🌁

If you don’t honor yourself you are doing a huge disservice to you and everyone around you 

Take time for yourself, be compassionate to yourself

Release write, draw, paint, run, create……..do something that allows you to express yourself 

When you can, if you choose to

Find a way to have a kind, compassionate, open conversation to bridge the gap, be heard, be seen and understood  👀🙉👀

If you do not see yourself, hear yourself or understand yourself first, it is going to be very hard for anyone else to.

Connect to your inner child and ask what they want, what they need (a hug? to be told they are loved? stand up for them?)

Let your emotions and feelings out and let them flow in a productive and positive way 

Be seen, be heard, be understood 🗣

👁 👀 U

Thoughts 💭❓

Doggslife.com

Smallstepsbigthings.com 

Who Are You Really Mad At❓

I have noticed lately that I am carrying around quite a bit of anger 😡

I of course, maybe like you, carry it inside.  

I don’t typically express my anger.  

It just sits below the surface, seething and looming and pops out in ways that don’t serve anyone.  

I try and repress it and or don’t even know it is there until I really sit and observe quietly.  

Usually my anger shows up in frustration, apathy, sadness or depression.  

When I am able to sit quietly without judgement for myself or others, I most often realize the person or thing I am angry at is MYSELF.

It is tough to be angry at yourself because the buck stops here :-0 

It is a self inflicted wound that could have been prevented (presumably)

I ultimately get angry at myself for allowing my boundaries that I so carefully have tried to construct (this of course took decades to do) 

get completely obliterated!

Saying yes to things I should say NO 🚫to 

Not speaking up or speaking out 🗣

Doing things for other peoples comfort or benefit and ignoring or minimizing the impact it will have on me or my loved ones 💕

Falling into old patterns

Falling out of new more healthy patterns😔

Failing to utilize all of the learning and lessons that have been taught to me the last couple of years 📚

The list goes on ✍️

Yes, angry at myself!!!

Now what ❓❓❓

Now, I need to forgive myself and find compassion for myself

Perhaps these are just continued layers of the journey of life 

to love myself just the way I am and know that there is always more to learn along the way and consistently work to get better

Be open, be curious, observe without judgment & with much compassion my thoughts, my patterns and my actions 

Acceptance and Forgiveness of myself, for myself so that I can show up in a better way for me and everyone around me 

That is my action step for today.

What is yours?  What are your thoughts 💭❓

Would love to read📖/hear👂 them 

Doggslife.com

Smallstepsbigthings.com